That’s all I have to report.
Actually no, I have so much more to report. I ran a half marathon and I feel crazy.
I decided in August that I was going to run a half marathon because my friends were doing it. I remember the day we decided to do this, we were sitting around the dining table in LA and we decided as a group to run the Malibu Half Marathon in November. So a group of us in Seattle bought tickets to LA for that weekend and signed up for the half marathon.
Leading up to that run, I only half prepared myself to run thirteen miles. But as we got closer to November, I started upping my mileage and not really following a training plan as much as just trying to run more miles. I got to 7 miles then I eventually got to 9 miles and then two weeks before my race, I needed to prove to myself that I could get to double digits in preparation for the race itself. I got to 11.6 miles and I knew that I could do it. I would be able to run the full 13.1 miles or at least run 11.6, then walk the last mile and a half. So after that, I only did one run and really enjoyed the tapering weeks.
On Friday, we flew in Burbank, sat down for our carbo load dinner of homemade delicious pasta and then prepared ourselves for the weekend. The entire weekend was spent with people that I adore and we tried to be off of our feet as much as possible. Even though a bunch of fun activities, I knew that running 13.1 miles was running through the back of my mind the entire time and I was getting more and more nervous.
On Saturday we spent our time eating regular food, going to the beach and eating decently healthy food that night. We didn’t do anything too strenuous because we needed to make sure we conserved our energy for our run.
I would say that even though I had run 11.6 miles leading up to this run, I felt entirely unprepared. I regretted not working out more or running more leading up to this run and the fear was really setting in prior to the run.
The things that were running through my head:
- Would I even finish?
- What time would I finish in?
- Would I get blisters?
- What if I don’t finish?
I knew that leading up to this race, I had actually done really well with time and had finished my long run with an average pace of 10:04 per mile so I thought that I could actually average that for my overall 13.1 mile run. I personally told everyone that my goal was to get done before the car had to pick me up so I would need to average a 17:45 mile. But deep down, I wanted to do well. I wanted my adrenaline to kick in and that I would actually maintain the 10 minute mile or even be better than a 10 minute mile. I wanted so badly to actually get done in less than 2 hours and 10 minutes. It was a goal I didn’t share with anyone but it was what I wanted to do.
But the closer we go tot he race, the more I wasn’t sure this was actually going to happen. The nerves were really setting in but what I wanted to believe was that my adrenaline would kick in and I would do so well.
Along with that, I was running this with four other friends and we had a cheer squad so I wanted to make sure I ended at a decent time so that people wouldn’t be waiting for me for too long. I had this fear of embarrassment of making everyone wait for me for longer than necessary. I definitely had a fear of embarrassment and I wanted to prove to everyone and myself that I could do this. But I kept wavering between believing I could do this and being terrified of failing epically…