I officially have been at my new company for over a year. Let’s see if I can make it past 14 months and that’ll mean that I’m finally on my way to being just slightly more settled than I was previously. I’ve already broken my tradition of interviewing every 12 months so now let’s see how long I can stick around for now.
That being said, I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking about what I do and whether it’s the right decision. I think some part of this is coming from the fact that I’ve entered a new decade in my life and now I am on a true journey of self improvement and making sure I’m doing what makes me happy. So, does my current job make me happy?
I don’t know.
I read a lot of LinkedIn articles every day because there’s this part of me that wonders if there is a magic formula on how to be happy or successful. I keep checking out those articles that say things along the lines of “here are the traits of a truly successful person” or “these odd traits make you happy.” Yes. Cliche, and weird sounding articles, but I still check them out all the time. It’s weird.
I wish that, as an adult, I could proudly look at someone and tell them that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I know exactly what I am doing and I know exactly where I am going. But honestly, I cannot say any of those statements of true.
Maybe for the moment one is. I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now because I don’t know where else I would be. And maybe, the fact that I can’t say any of these things as a true fact – that’s what makes me successful.
The fact that I am constantly questioning, constantly on a journey of self-improvement, never really satisfied and always trying to learn and understand – that’s what makes me successful. I say this because maybe since I am not okay with just being content but I always want to be better, it means that I am successful. I am successful because I am always striving for something new and better. I could also just be saying this to make myself feel better.
But, at this point, I can proudly say that with the new age in a new decade, I am still just as lost as I was a few years ago. Let’s just say, faux adulthood at it’s finest.