2016 started out as a year of fresh starts and changes. I moved to a new city, a new state, a new company and even did some crazy stuff with my hair. I took some risks I never thought I’d take. And as apart of those crazy changes, I started dating someone I never thought I’d date.
2017 started out rough and it’s been a year of rollercoasters. I moved again, but this time I moved back to a familiar place. I started yet another new job, did my first solo three day roadtrip, and ended the relationship that I never thought would have started.
In retrospect, there’s no part of me that regrets any decision I’ve made in my life, especially in the last year and a half. There’s no part of me that wishes something could have been done differently because in the end, everything happens for a reason. I was sad to leave Seattle, I was just as sad to leave LA. I was excited to start the new jobs, excited for the new relationship and broken hearted to end it all.
But maybe ending that relationship, my job and leaving LA was the perfect way to close that chapter. It still all feels new and the wound is still fresh. I find myself on the bus staring out the window at the city that once felt so much like home and wondering how long I’ll be here. And where my next move is, or maybe this is permanent. I find myself wondering ‘what if’ we had tried long distance, would we still be together?
In a way, I fell for a city and a guy all at the same time. They were my home when everything felt strange and terrifying.
To the city that showed me I could do anything, there will always be a special place in my heart for you.
To the boy who broke my heart, I’m disappointed it’s over, I’m hurt that I wasn’t enough, but I’m thankful for the time we had and what you taught me.