Adulthood – Interviewing

I hate interviewing.  Can I just leave it at that?

Just kidding.  But seriously, interviewing is one of the most nerve wrecking things.  Actually, it’s the entire process of having to find a new job.  I’m not entirely sure I know anyone who really enjoys the process but for me, it gives me a whole new level of anxiety that makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and pretend that no on in the world can see me.  I know it sounds extreme but whenever I go through the job hunt process (which hasn’t even been that much), I’ve had to go through a whole slew of emotions and anxiety that is motivating and demotivating all at the same time (if that’s possible).

I remember the first time I had to find a job, it was right out of college and the interview process was a little less formal.  Luckily, I had an internship at a big company and they offered me a job when I graduated. The interview process in college was a phone interview and then the interview process after was more of just seeing which teams I wanted to join.  After that, I stayed with the same company for close to 6 years and knew how the internal system worked.  When I switched jobs, I knew how to answer the interview questions, I knew what I needed to say and the interview process made sense to me.

The second time I really had to go through the process was when I left said company and tried to change industries.  That was the first time I realized just how much I disliked this process. Maybe the reason why I dislike this process so much is because it means that I have to make the decision as to what I want to do and who I want to be.  It’s a much bigger decision to try and make sure that whatever my next move is has to be the right career move for me, it can’t be just something that is going to propel me forward in whatever direction I want to go.  But that’s just the thing, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.  I don’t want to grow up and so having to make sure that all my decisions are moving me in the right direction seems inherently difficult.

Then the process of having to apply for jobs and the anxiety that comes with constantly waiting and hoping that someone will respond to you.  That is a whole ordeal within itself.  Hoping that someone thinks your resume is that great that you can move onto an interview is terrible.  Especially if half the time, you’re waiting to get through a computer system.  Then comes the actual process of trying to convince someone you know what you’re doing.  You can be yourself but not always yourself if that makes sense.  I had someone once tell me that I just need to be my goofy and chaotic self in interviews and I’ll be good.  The fact that someone called me chaotic is … worrisome to say the least.  I’m not entirely sure that my chaotic self can really convince anyone to hire me.

Then it’s the process of waiting for the offer, and hoping that you did well enough that someone will just be so excited to have you on their team.

Why must this entire process be so stressful?  It’s one of the few things that reminds me that being an adult is really not my favorite thing in the world…

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