I had a friend

I had a friend who decided to leave this world
This friend was someone I once adored with all my heart
But nothing happened between us
Except the constant exchange of words
Words that we sent on a weekly basis through emails
Words that described our days,
Our deepest secrets
Things we loved and things we hated
These emails were novels
Novels that told the story of our lives
and documented everything about freshman year
These emails were a historical document
transcribing every interaction
Every emotion and every thought

He’s gone now and those words are too
Those stories we told
Now lost in some account
Those words he wrote
gone forever

I’m sorry for not keeping those stories
For not keeping in touch
For thinking that what once was
Could never be

I missed you
And thought of you often
Checking in on social media
Hoping you were doing well

I’m sorry for not noticing that you weren’t
For not reaching out earlier
For not sharing with you that
I thought of you often
And wondered how you were

Goodbye Ben.
Goodbye Jam.
Sweet dreams.


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