Sometimes I get stuck in a rut. A rut that I can’t figure out how to get out of and then something happens and it reminds me of just what I need to do to make a difference and change the course of my life. Recently I’ve had an absurd amount of time to reflect on everything and as this year starts coming to a close, I’m glad that these reminders are starting to pop up.
Recently, I had a dream that I heard my friends’ laugh again. It’s been almost four years since he passed but I dreamt of him which I haven’t done in awhile. I found myself wondering that I would do if I heard his laugh and his voice again. Sometimes I can still hear it in my head saying very specific things to me. These thoughts and reminders always force me to reflect on everything that has happened over the last four years. I’ve changed in ways that I never thought I would. Taken risks that I never thought possible and grown more than ever. I attribute my first spontaneous trip to Spain to him and his constant reminder that life is too short.
On a trip to Seattle I spent a great deal of time with friends that I love. I love all my friends and these were just a few that could make their schedules work with the short timeframe that I had. I had people changing schedules and working with my schedule to accommodate a quick coffee date. In fact, at one point I just sat in a coffee shop and people came to me. What’s funny is that this trip came at the perfect time even though I didn’t realize it when I booked the ticket. I was quickly reminded of how lucky I am to have found some of the most amazing people to have in my life. People who want to spend time with me and want to keep touch with me. People who care about me and will do what they can to hang out with me. People who reciprocate my love for them. I needed this reminder that I have people in my life that love me unconditionally and I deserve it. I deserve nothing less. And in fact, no one deserves anything less than being treasured by the people in their lives. I needed this reminder that I shouldn’t settle for anything less and there is someone who does not want to value me in the same way I value them, it’s okay. I don’t need them.
Sitting on airplanes and looking out of the window reminds me of just how big this world is. There is so much to see and sitting at my desk does not give me the opportunity to cover all the ground I want to. I can sit all day and worry about jobs and whether I make enough money. But in the end, that’s not what matters. What matters is that I take the opportunity to explore and learn to appreciate what this world has to offer. I need to learn to appreciate the people in this world, the cultures, the experiences and everything else that makes each and every mile unique in its own fashion. I can never claim to know everything or claim to fully understand it but I want to spend the rest of my life trying to scrape the surface to be a part of it all.