I’ve realized very recently that I think I am purposely preventing myself from accepting LA as my home. I hate to say it but before I left Seattle, I told a few people that I didn’t think that this was permanent. And recently, I’ve noticed that when people ask how I made the decision to move to LA – I always say that I was ready to leave my current job and the timing made sense. But as part of my story, I always say that I started looking for jobs in Seattle, had no plans to actually make a move outside of Seattle and LA was never really on my list of places to live. I’ve thought about going abroad and I would like to eventually end up back in San Francisco, but LA was never a place that I said “this is where I want to live.”
When I tell this story to people, I seem to find myself making sure people know that LA was never on my list and that I made this move for only the job. I made this move because this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and I never wanted to wonder the “what if.”
When I was making the decision to go, people kept telling me that I can always go back to Seattle and maybe that’s part of the reason why I’m so reluctant to let go of Seattle. I know I can go back and so I think I will. But maybe I won’t?
I know that at this point, I’m here for a bit of time at least a couple of years (unless something terrible happens at work and they decide they don’t want me anymore, than that would change everything). I feel like it’s time to finally just come to terms with it and make the most of the situation I am in. No one forced me to make this decision, I made this decision to move. I could have easily said no and stayed in Seattle forever.
This is my conscience effort to say that I will stop telling people that I never wanted to live in LA. This is my declaration to the world that I am going to embrace this experience and figure out how to make the best of it. This is my official “I’m going to live it up cause I can” statement to the world. This is me coming to terms with the fact that, I live in LA and this is now my home.