I’m taking a break from documenting my Europe travels to officially announce that I am no longer in control of my destiny. I’m one of those people who believes that whatever happens to you happens and that you have only some control over what happens. Well I can officially say that I have done everything within my power to ensure that I graduate from my masters. Now. The wait.
My program is a bit different because we had to create final business plans and presentations to present to a graduate committee. Then we have to wait for them to decide if we get to pass the program. I’ve turned everything in and now I wait. Wait for 4 weeks for someone I’ve never met to contact me and tell me that it’s official. All the hard work I’ve put in for the last two years has resulted in something.
For the last month or so I’ve been asked how close I am to finishing my program. I always tell people when it’s over but then follow it up with ‘that’s only if they let me graduate. Talk to me in August and I might still be in class.’ I know it seems ridiculous because I’ve literally spent two years on this project to see it all the way through and yet for some reason, I don’t have 100% confidence that someone else is going to think it’s as great as I think it is.
People keep telling me to be optimistic and that they think I’m fine. It’s funny because I’m not saying this stuff necessarily for attention or reassurance from people. But it’s more for me. The more I say it, the more I don’t get my hopes up, the less awkward and disappointed I will be if I actually fail. I call it being realistic so that I can always be pleasantly surprised and never disappointed.
Until August, just know that every post is potentially written with a hint of panic and terror.