Food: the awkward moments

I love food.  And because I love food, some of my most awkward and embarrassing moments involve it.

Tonight’s awkward moment reminded me that I need to start taking the stairs to my apartment. But before I get to that, let’s start with the most recent awkward moments that have led up to this final revelation.

I live in a small apartment building and hardly ever run into anyone when I take the elevator.  A few months back, my parents came to visit and brought a cooler full of home cooking. We brought the cooler (one of those camping coolers you pack full of food for a week) into the elevator of my building and just so happened to run into my landlord as we entered.  Her comment was “oh, are you guys going camping?” My mother’s response, “Nope. It’s full of food for her.” My landlord’s response, “oh…” and with that it got quiet as she tried to process the amount of food located in the cooler that required two people to carry.

The next time I ran into someone in the elevator was around 1130PM on a Wednesday night.  I had gone to see The Neighborhood in concert with Jennie and afterwards we thought a Burger King run was a fantastic idea.  I walked into the elevator with my Burger King bag, so excited to get to my apartment and eat my Whopper.  The elevator stops at the lobby and a guy walks in.  Looks at me, looks at the Burger King bag, looks back at me and smiles.  I saw the judgement in his eyes and I immediately pulled out my phone and counted the floors till I could get off the elevator.

Soon after that, I had spent one of my Sundays binge watching Girls with Jennie and eating pizza.  I had a couple slices left that I decided to bring home for leftovers and in order to save myself some embarrassment, I asked for some tupperware.  I was told I was being silly so I wandered home and into the elevator of my building with my Dominos box at 10PM on a Sunday night.  My landlord happened to be in there and as I walked in, she looked at me, smiled, looked at the Dominos box and then said “late night snack?” with a tone of some concern.  My immediate response was “no, just some leftovers” with a hint of panic. I got off the elevator, hurried into my apartment and immediately ate a slice of pizza to compensate for the awkward moment.

That leads me to tonight, the final straw.  I walked into my elevator with some ice cream (yes, ice cream even though it’s 50 degrees and raining). As the elevator began moving, I immediately thought “please don’t stop in the lobby…please don’t stop in the lobby.” And, the door opened and two guys walked in as I had a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth.  I smiled a toothless smile while I tried not to show that I was suffering a brain freeze and immediately looked down at my phone.  The guys continued with their conversation.

Starting today, I take the stairs so that no one can see the food.  And if they do, I’m speeding past them up the stairs to my apartment in anticipation of what I will be eating.

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